Marriage Is Like A Crab Leg Dinner

It occurred to me tonight, as I was cleaning freshly steamed crab legs, how much that activity reminded me of my marriage. Remember when you heard the line from the movie 'Forrest Gump', "Life is like a box of chocolates..."? Well, I had my Forrest Gump moment tonight at the dining room table!

I sat there, alone, trying my best to remove all the delicious meat from the crab leg clusters, hoping not to miss anything, but feeling overwhelmed with the 3 pounds of legs that sat before me. I know how much Paul hates to clean them, despite the fact that he does enjoy eating them, so I did not bother to ask for his help. After all, I thought, he was busy with something on the computer and surely I could do this myself...even if it took hours. Which it would have. Hours, messy, sticky and slimy, four of my least favorite words.

In the past, I would have cleaned all of them myself and then made VERY SURE Paul knew how I hated doing it, how I sacrificed what I wanted to do instead so he could enjoy the crab legs even though he did none of the work to deserve the crab legs I SLAVED over to clean....on and on and on. Yes, I can be quite the martyr when I want to be. (I, was taught that skill by one of the best martyr's I know, thankyouverymuch.) I decided that rather than be overwhelmed at the task at hand, instead of trying to do it all by myself, I throw out a suggestion to Paul that I might need help to get all of these cleaned. You know what? He took me up on it. I am not sure why he did it. Maybe he felt bad for me, maybe he heard the desperation in my tone, or maybe, just maybe, he did it because I finally asked for his help. I like to think because I humbled myself and asked for his help instead of sulking and always trying to do it myself, he was WILLING to help. And you know, it was a more pleasurable experience sharing the yucky job. We turned up the tv to hear Jeopardy and tried as a couple to answer the questions together, all while cleaning crab legs. What a concept!

Tonight, I discovered, sitting there, that marriage, much like these crab legs can become something rather wonderful and satisfying, but also very messy. More importantly, sometimes you have to get really messy, sticky and slimy to enjoy the good that can come from your efforts. My marriage is like that! I also discovered that if only one person is doing all the work, be it cleaning crab legs or the house work, then less joy will come from the results. One person will feel unappreciated for their efforts and one person will feel neglected. Nothing good can come from feelings like that.

So the next time you're cleaning crab leg clusters alone, remember my analogy, and share the load. It may just save your marriage.