Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Being Nice To A Fault
I find myself in a horrible situation lately; I am nice to a fault. I know, you don't believe one word of it! It may stem from my severe dislike of confrentation and the uncomfortable feelings involved with it. I don't like hurting others feelings, nor do I take pride in pointing out their faults, which may be part of my discomfort in being direct sometimes. I have, at times, gone to great lengths and expense to not point out a fault in order to keep a friendship. Even worse, it has been a complete waste of time and energy to keep what I thought was a frienship and lose my self respect for not speaking up. I have suffered abuse in many forms for the sake of being nice to others. You too? I've lost money, been bossed around by ungrateful kids, been unfriended on "Facebook", and even verbally dismissed. Don't get me wrong, I DO stand up for myself on many more occasions, usually where a friendship is not involved, though. My dear, sweet husband, Paul, thinks I'm a bit 'stupid' for allowing others to walk all over me and has recently been the witness of my latest bout of 'niceness'. He gave me his take on what I did wrong and how to avoid it the next time it comes up...and YES, it will come up again in the near future. I have vowed not to let it happen again...until it happens again.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Change Is Good
"I've finally reached my limit. I am officially sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time." How many times have I said that in my life? I've seriously lost count! I'm sick of being sick, overweight, tired, and overall disgusted with my health and I've FINALLY decided to take control of it.
Twenty or so years ago, I realized I had a serious eating disorder which inturn, led me to a new way of thinking and eating; thanks to an eating disorder treatment center. I left that 'rehab' with a new lease on life. I had my bulimia and my life under control for the first time in my 20 years of life on this planet. I felt great. I was at the correct weight for my height, I had energy, and more than anything, I was happy with myself.
Fast forward 22 years and I am again back at square one. Well, health wise, kinda. While I no longer have the bulimic tendencies to purge, I find that I've slumped back into the tendencies to overeat and eat the wrong foods. I can blame the chemotherapy medications that DID put on a significant amount of weight back in 1995, but I can no longer blame it for why I've kept the weight on. It's been 16 years since I battled uterine cancer and beat it, so it's time to move on and take control of my life again.
In 1994, before cancer, I was at my perfect weight of 160lbs. After having all of the life saving treatments for cancer, I 'blossomed' up to a scary 300lbs in just a matter of 5 months. Rather than going back to the healthy way of eating I had learned in treatment, I ventured on a journey of diet to diet. Weight Watchers, Grapefruit Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, Full Cleanse Diet, you name it I tried it...except for the one that really did work. Sure, I lost weight, I was down to 225lbs when I met my husband in 1997, but I have yet to weigh less than that since. Worse yet, I've bottomed out at 297 unhealthy pounds. Along with the weight, I've gained Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Heart Disease, and Epstein-Barr Virus. None of which I consider an added bonus.
After 2 months of being miserably sick with a sinus infection and the flu, I had finally reached my breaking point. Being sick from Thanksgiving to New Year's made me realize I did not want to spend another holiday being sick if I had any control over it. And that's when I remembered, the great treasure I had 'buried' in my home, in a notebook full of recipes I never use, my healthy eating plan. (It was simply a miracle that I even found it. No really, it was an answered prayer!)
Like with any other disorder or addiction, I too needed to hit rock bottom. My rock bottom came in January of this year. I was sick, severly overweight, and disgusted with my life overall. I wanted to make a change, I had to make a change, I needed to make this change to save my life. Before January, I was not ready to make that change. I was not ready to surrender my will to God again. I was not ready to give up the things I thought I enjoyed, those things that were actually killing me. Ironically, I was killing me.
On January 19th, I made that change I needed. I pulled out that eating plan and I haven't looked back. My healthy eating plan encompasses a rather structured approach involving weighing/measuring my foods, avoiding sugars and foods containing wheat or flour. I try to limit my caffeine intake to one or less drinks per day and I drink at least 5 glasses of water per day. I'm not perfect in my eating plan, but I am doing the best I can and it seems to be enough. In changing my eating alone, I've lost 20lbs in just over a month. I feel better. I'm less tired.
I've since added exercise to my eating plan, and I have discovered a whole new sensation...I actually like to exercise. No, I have come to crave it! I have never, that I recall, ever enjoyed exercise or even looked forward to it. I am hoping to keep this new found excitement for exercise in my life for as long as I can!
As I was told many years ago, CHANGE IS GOOD!
Twenty or so years ago, I realized I had a serious eating disorder which inturn, led me to a new way of thinking and eating; thanks to an eating disorder treatment center. I left that 'rehab' with a new lease on life. I had my bulimia and my life under control for the first time in my 20 years of life on this planet. I felt great. I was at the correct weight for my height, I had energy, and more than anything, I was happy with myself.
Fast forward 22 years and I am again back at square one. Well, health wise, kinda. While I no longer have the bulimic tendencies to purge, I find that I've slumped back into the tendencies to overeat and eat the wrong foods. I can blame the chemotherapy medications that DID put on a significant amount of weight back in 1995, but I can no longer blame it for why I've kept the weight on. It's been 16 years since I battled uterine cancer and beat it, so it's time to move on and take control of my life again.
In 1994, before cancer, I was at my perfect weight of 160lbs. After having all of the life saving treatments for cancer, I 'blossomed' up to a scary 300lbs in just a matter of 5 months. Rather than going back to the healthy way of eating I had learned in treatment, I ventured on a journey of diet to diet. Weight Watchers, Grapefruit Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, Full Cleanse Diet, you name it I tried it...except for the one that really did work. Sure, I lost weight, I was down to 225lbs when I met my husband in 1997, but I have yet to weigh less than that since. Worse yet, I've bottomed out at 297 unhealthy pounds. Along with the weight, I've gained Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Heart Disease, and Epstein-Barr Virus. None of which I consider an added bonus.
After 2 months of being miserably sick with a sinus infection and the flu, I had finally reached my breaking point. Being sick from Thanksgiving to New Year's made me realize I did not want to spend another holiday being sick if I had any control over it. And that's when I remembered, the great treasure I had 'buried' in my home, in a notebook full of recipes I never use, my healthy eating plan. (It was simply a miracle that I even found it. No really, it was an answered prayer!)
Like with any other disorder or addiction, I too needed to hit rock bottom. My rock bottom came in January of this year. I was sick, severly overweight, and disgusted with my life overall. I wanted to make a change, I had to make a change, I needed to make this change to save my life. Before January, I was not ready to make that change. I was not ready to surrender my will to God again. I was not ready to give up the things I thought I enjoyed, those things that were actually killing me. Ironically, I was killing me.
On January 19th, I made that change I needed. I pulled out that eating plan and I haven't looked back. My healthy eating plan encompasses a rather structured approach involving weighing/measuring my foods, avoiding sugars and foods containing wheat or flour. I try to limit my caffeine intake to one or less drinks per day and I drink at least 5 glasses of water per day. I'm not perfect in my eating plan, but I am doing the best I can and it seems to be enough. In changing my eating alone, I've lost 20lbs in just over a month. I feel better. I'm less tired.
I've since added exercise to my eating plan, and I have discovered a whole new sensation...I actually like to exercise. No, I have come to crave it! I have never, that I recall, ever enjoyed exercise or even looked forward to it. I am hoping to keep this new found excitement for exercise in my life for as long as I can!
As I was told many years ago, CHANGE IS GOOD!
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